On August 25, at Birmingham’s Red Mountain Theatre, author and social psychologist Kurt Gray offered a new take on this current American era of outrage and polarization. At the heart of his message: We’re motivated far more by what we have in common than we might think.
“Most of our differences come from the same place,” Gray shared, “about protecting ourselves or others from harm. The disagreements come over our different perceptions of what might be harmful and of who’s being harmed.”
That finding from Gray’s research won’t magically heal our nation’s self-inflicted wounds, but it might help folks better understand each other and open up opportunities for productive conversations. Indeed, that hope inspired the entire evening.
Sharing our stories
Gray’s talk was offered as part of an ongoing Woven Together series, co-presented by the Alabama Humanities Alliance, Community Foundation of Greater Birmingham, and Leadership Birmingham, and sponsored by Alabama Power.
As AHA’s executive director Chuck Holmes shared at the start of the evening: “We’re going to learn more about Kurt tonight, but more importantly, we’re going to learn more about ourselves, and how we cope and how we process things in our lives and in the life of our nation.”
One of the most important takeaways came when Gray described how to try entering into conversation with someone who might have fundamentally different opinions than yours.
“Facts matter, but they’re not the best way to start a conversation,” Gray said. “You’re not starting an argument to win. You’re starting a conversation to understand someone. And when you approach it that way, storytelling — not facts — is a much more powerful way of bridging divides. Start with your personal experiences.”
So, how do we start difficult conversations, especially ones that might involve thorny topics?
“Talk with someone like they’re a full person,” Gray emphasized. “Nobody is just one thing. We all contain multitudes. So, start with something real that doesn’t have anything to do with politics. None of us like being talked at. People like being asked real questions.”
After Gray’s talk, he signed copies of his book, Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics – and How to Find Common Ground. The book-signing was courtesy of Thank You Books, and signed copies of the book are now available at the Birmingham bookseller.
Healing History
For those interested in other opportunities for coming together in conversation and exploration, check out AHA’s Healing History initiative. This collaborative effort helps Alabamians examine our shared histories in order to better know, and understand, one another.
On August 25, nearly 60 people arrived early to Red Mountain Theatre, to participate in Past Forward, a participatory introduction to AHA’s Healing History initiative. This experience offers a chance to explore, and reflect upon, our shared history — and consider how decisions made in the past affect our lives, livelihoods, relationships, and communities today.
Register for upcoming Healing History opportunities below, and learn more at alabamahumanities.org/healing-history.
- September 11, 2025: Past Forward (Birmingham)
- October 27, 2025: Healing History: An Alabama Convening (Montevallo)
- November 20, 2025: Past Forward (Bessemer)
- TBA: Additional screenings of Echoes of the Forks of Cypress (Statewide)
About the Alabama Humanities Alliance
Founded in 1974, the nonprofit and nonpartisan Alabama Humanities Alliance serves as a state affiliate of the National Endowment for the Humanities. Through our grantmaking and public programming, we promote lifelong learning, impactful storytelling, and civic engagement. We believe the humanities can bring Alabamians together and help us better understand the communities we call home.
Lead image, at top, by Bob Farley.